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Europe Ireland

THE COAST AND COUNTRYSIDE OF NORTHERN IRELAND

Have you ever visited a place without any prior knowledge or expectations of what it’d be like, only to find yourself planning a disappearing act once you arrive, into this fictional world of happily-ever-after that’s the complete opposite of the life you actually live? That’s what happened to me in Northern Ireland.

After falling in love with Dublin I was curious to see the North since it’s actually part of the UK. We drove through the rain, passing small town after small town before hitting Belfast. The downtown area was bustling, complete with a multi-level shopping center and giant outdoor TVs for passersby to watch soccer on the go. But after driving through some of the mural-covered back roads (which could easily be mistaken for a forgotten, semi-active war zone…or maybe even downtown Detroit) I didn’t have very high hopes for the rest of the day. But holy hell was I wrong.

Belfast

 This was the first time I can remember ever being out in the country and not only enjoying it, but never wanting to leave.

Maybe it’s my love for the friendly/crazy/drunk Irish people and their charming accents, or their flawless alcoholic contributions to the world. Or maybe it was because I was touring the countryside with one of the most fascinating, hilarious people I’d met while living in Europe. Or maybe it was simply because Northern Ireland was truly whimsical and beautiful. Whatever the reasons, this day trip made me feel right at home, longing for a time before cell phones and Facebook.

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 I kept imagining myself sneaking away at our next pit stop, roaming through the hills with a few meandering sheep before coming across a cute little farmhouse. A burly Irish man with a perfect manly beard and dirty working-man hands would answer the door of course, and invite me in for a pint of Guinness and a glass of Jameson with his seductive accent. Then he’d take me out back to show me the farm and all of the fresh cheese he makes, you know, as a hobby. And just like that, I’d forget all of my concerns for the world I used to know, and I’d live happily ever after on that farm.

Sadly that didn’t happen. But I did have one of the best guided tours of my life on the Extreme Ireland Day Tours of Giant’s Causeway.

Causway Fisher

 Our guide was hilarious, and he knew so much about The Troubles in Northern Ireland. He gave us a brief history in Belfast that could’ve easily spanned an entire middle school semester in History class, including the fact that the Europa Hotel was considered the most-bombed hotel in all of Europe—and the world. For once I actually enjoyed sitting on a bus, looking out the window and listening to his commentary.

Europa

 On our way to the Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge near Ballintoy, our guide got on the speaker and said that he had some bad news. I could tell by the way the bus occasionally jerked over into the other lane that it was something weather and wind related. Then I heard the only words that could’ve ruined that perfect day: the bridge was closed due to gale force winds making it unsafe to cross.

Upon hearing this news I went through a whole myriad of emotions, followed by cursing at the voices in my head, anger-eating chocolate, and praying to the Irish Gods. It all must’ve worked because next thing you know, the winds let up enough for us to safely cross just a couple of hours later. I got some awesome video of the walk across the 66-foot bridge, so more on that later.

The path to the Carrick-a-Rede Bridge

Northern Ireland

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Northern Ireland

The entire area surrounding the Carrick-a-Rede Bridge was nothing but natural beauty. I could see Scotland, and though I knew there were farmhouses just beyond the hills, there were no visible signs of civilization as far as the eye could see. And for a city-dweller, that was awesome.

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After my glorious walk across the bridge, we continued on to Giant’s Causeway, a more touristy spot just up the road. Giant’s Causeway is a group of about 40,000 polygonal basalt columns caused by a volcanic eruption. Or as legend explains it, a causeway built by the Irish giant Fionn mac Cumhaill to get over to Scotland to fight the Scottish giant Benandonner.

Clearly the Irish have been hitting the bottle for as long as they’ve been telling stories.

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Giant's Causeway

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Northern Ireland

After leaving Giant’s Causeway we drove out to see what’s left of the 13th Century Dunluce Castle.

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You wouldn’t even guess from these photos that it was absolutely freezing on that cold March day. The wind was relentless, blasting us like one of those reporters you see standing in the middle of a hurricane while you secretly hope he gets pegged by a cow or a stop sign for his stupidity.

But damn was the scenery beautiful, and totally worth it.

  Northern Ireland

Northern Ireland

Should you go?

Hell yes. Even if you’re not up for renting a car and making the trek on your own, the day tour I did from Dublin was about 65 Euros, and it helped launch Ireland to the top of my Favorite Places in Europe list. Traveling the coast is nearly orgasmic. Plus the company offers tons of other day trips and adventure courses, so if the rest of their staff is anything like our guide you’ll definitely enjoy yourself.

I want to go back and do an extended hike and a trip to the Cliffs of Moher, so if you need a travel buddy, let’s go!

Categories
Europe Food + Drinks Ireland

What Not to do in Dublin

I fell in love with Ireland the second I stepped off the plane, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. Especially since the only day I spent in Dublin was anything but ideal. I was only there for the weekend though, so I spent Saturday in the city before heading off on a fourteen hour tour of Northern Ireland on Sunday. But more on that later.

Basically, my perfect day in Dublin was supposed to go a little something like this:

– Wake up early.

– Have an Irish breakfast, including Guinness.

– Walk around town taking awesome photos.

– Tour the old Jameson Distillery. Drink Jameson.

– Take a leisurely stroll through the Guinness Storehouse.

– Drink Guinness at Gravity bar, admiring the views over Dublin.

– Find a bar to watch Ireland v France rugby while eating Irish stew and drinking more Guinness.

– Meet fun locals at said bar and continue on the evening with a pub crawl.

Sounds like the perfect Saturday in Dublin, right? Ideally, yes. But instead it went a little something like this:

– Woke up two hours later than I’d hoped.

– Inhaled a cup of rice pudding I’d mistaken for Greek yogurt in an attempt to save time on eating breakfast.

– Made it a few blocks snapping photos against a miserable looking sky, before the incessant mist became a bit too much for my camera.

 

Christ Church Cathedral

Kim

– Stumbled upon the Old Jameson Distillery only to see the next 93 minutes of tours sold out. Luckily I was able to sign up for the last one of the day at 515pm, but since it was already 2 I had to hoof it over to the Guinness Storehouse to make it back in time.

– Took the long back-way over to Guinness in what had now become a steady rain and light wind. You know, just to ensure I was properly soaked before going inside.

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– Had no time to stop for lunch, so I chugged my sample beer, poured my perfect pint, then chugged that too. And just like that with no food in my stomach, I was tipsy.

Pouring the pint

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– Visited Gravity Bar long enough to snap a few photos of raindrops and clouds before rushing out the door to the Old Jameson Distillery.

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– Bought a Guinness coffee mug on the way out, then oh-so-cleverly carried it unguarded in the rain in a paper bag with a thick rope handle.

– Got disoriented on my way back towards the Old Jameson Distillery and ended up walking about five blocks too far. So I asked some nice Irish fella to point me in the right direction and found myself backtracking with only six minutes until the tour started. Then, right there on the corner of Mary’s Lane and Greek Street, tragedy struck. The Guinness bag succumbed to the battle against the rain, and the bottom fell out, sending my prized mug crashing to the ground. I shouted expletives as a family across the street pulled their daughter near to avoid my harsh words. But come on, she’s Irish, surely she’s heard worse? I picked up the pieces and carried the shattered, dripping wet remains into the Jameson Distillery just in time at 514PM.

– Did the Jameson tour, grabbed the largest glass of free whiskey afterwards and downed it a bit too quickly in an attempt to make it to watch rugby.

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Jameson Barrel

– Walked another 20 minutes in the rain and wind before realizing I’d completely missed the rugby match.

– Stopped into a pub for an Irish stew only to discover that they didn’t accept swipe cards.

– Pissed off, I went out the door and directly across the street to McDonald’s. I was still buzzed and by this point STARVING, so I ordered 12 chicken McNuggets, a large fry, an apple pie, cheese sticks, and a chocolate shake. And I took it all back to the apartment and ate every. Last. Crumb.

 

It wasn’t necessarily a bad day, but I did miss out on a few key things due to poor planning and unexpectedly quick intoxication. So folks, if you’re going to Dublin, here are a few pointers:

– Remember that Guinness should not be a substitute for food. You will get drunk.

– Take an umbrella and a sturdy bag if you plan on buying any fragile souvenirs. Sadly the gift shop attendant at the Jameson Distillery said that happens all the time.

– Buy your tickets to the Guinness Storehouse and Old Jameson Distillery in advance online. You’ll save a few bucks, plan your day a little better, and avoid the lines.

– If you’re deciding between touring Guinness or Jameson, I think the Guinness Storehouse is the better choice. The Jameson Distillery was great, as was the tour guide, but it was shorter and felt like more of a theatrical setup since it’s in a place they no longer use, whereas the Guinness Storehouse felt like a much bigger experience.

– Don’t count on going out to a pub near the Old Jameson Distillery. There aren’t any.

– Have fun. Drink Irish beer and whiskey. Eat Irish food. And chat with the locals. From my experience they’re super friendly (at least if you’re American) and LOVE to talk. Plus they have cool accents!